Los Angeles has a reputation for worshipping youth, and anyone who’s spent an afternoon on a West Hollywood patio knows it’s partly earned. Yet the city is also full of older gay men in Los Angeles who are successful, settled and very much single, many of whom moved here decades ago and never left, and of younger guys who’d take one of them over a gym selfie any day. The trouble isn’t a shortage of either. It’s that LA spreads its people across a few hundred square miles and a lot of freeway.
Here’s a practical guide to gay daddy dating in Los Angeles: where to go, how to cope with the distances, and how to meet the men who are actually looking for you.
West Hollywood: the obvious starting point
West Hollywood is still the centre of gay LA for most visitors and a good share of locals. Santa Monica Boulevard between La Cienega and Doheny has the big clubs, the brunch spots and the crowds, and on a weekend night it skews young. Older men are there, of course, often at a table rather than on the dance floor.
If you’d like a quieter, more mixed room, Mother Lode, a long-running neighborhood bar on Santa Monica Boulevard, has an easy, old-school gay bar feel and draws plenty of bears and older regulars. It’s the kind of place where a daddy can have a beer without being made to feel like somebody’s chaperone, and where a younger guy who likes older men will find more of them than at the clubs down the street.
WeHo’s patios are also useful for first dates in daylight. A late lunch on a sunny Saturday, watching the boulevard go by, is a gentle way to meet someone you’ve only chatted to online.
Silver Lake: bears, leather and a looser crowd
Head east and the mood changes. Silver Lake has a long gay history and a scruffier, more relaxed scene that suits many daddies better than WeHo. The Eagle LA on Santa Monica Boulevard carries on the Eagle tradition with leather nights, bear events and an outdoor patio, and its crowd ranges from men in their twenties to men in their seventies. If you’ve never been, go early in the evening and work out whether the theme suits you.
Not far away on Sunset, Akbar is a beloved, eclectic neighborhood bar where the crowd changes completely from one night to the next. LA’s bear community also has its own party circuit, with nights such as Bears in Space pulling in bears, cubs and their admirers from all over the city; keep an eye on local listings for the next one. For a younger man who likes bigger, bearded older guys, nights like that are about as good as LA gets.
Silver Lake and nearby Echo Park are also lovely places for a first date: a walk around the reservoir, a coffee, a taco from a truck. Very LA, very low-pressure.
The Valley, Long Beach and the drive to Palm Springs
Plenty of gay men live in the San Fernando Valley and rarely make the trip over the hill. The Bullet in North Hollywood is a friendly neighborhood bar with regular events, bear nights included, and a crowd that tends to be older and more local than anything you’ll find in WeHo.
Down south, Long Beach has its own established gay community, with a scene that’s calmer and more neighborhood-focused than the one in Hollywood. If you live in the South Bay or Orange County, Long Beach is often a far more realistic place to meet than anywhere north of the 10.
And then there’s Palm Springs, two hours east in the desert. It has one of the largest communities of older gay men anywhere in the United States, with clothing-optional resorts, pool parties and a social calendar that seems to run year-round in the cooler months. Lots of LA daddies have a second home there or plan to retire there, and lots of younger Angelenos drive out for the weekend. If you meet someone in LA, don’t be surprised if your second date is in the desert.
Distance is the real enemy
Every Angeleno knows the joke about dating someone “geographically undesirable”. Santa Monica to Silver Lake can take an hour on a bad evening; Pasadena to Long Beach can feel like crossing a state. For gay daddy dating in Los Angeles, that’s more of an obstacle than age ever will be.
The answer is to be honest about distance from the start. Search by how far you’re realistically willing to drive on a weeknight, and widen it for weekends. If you meet someone across town, suggest somewhere halfway, or alternate. Older men in particular often value someone who’s made the effort to come to them, and younger men often appreciate a daddy who’ll drive.
First dates, the LA way
The weather does half the work here. A morning hike in Griffith Park with the Hollywood sign in view, followed by breakfast in Los Feliz, tells you more about a man than three hours of messages. An afternoon at LACMA or the Getty gives an older guy the chance to show off what he knows, and a younger one the chance to show he’s curious. A sunset walk in Santa Monica or Venice works whatever your age, and if things go well, there’s always a drink after.
June is the busiest month for the community, with WeHo Pride and LA Pride bringing the whole city out. It’s a fun time to meet people, though not the easiest time to have a quiet conversation. For a first date with someone you really like, the calmer weeks are often better.
Sugar daddies in Los Angeles
Hollywood money and Hollywood ambition have lived side by side here for a century, so it’s hardly surprising that “gay sugar daddy Los Angeles” gets searched as often as it does. Some of those arrangements turn into long, affectionate partnerships. Others fall apart over a misunderstanding nobody bothered to clear up at the start.
Clear it up at the start. Write what you’re looking for on your profile and favour men who’ve written something similar. Meet the first time somewhere with valet parking and plenty of other people, a hotel lounge in Beverly Hills or a restaurant in Silver Lake. Hold on to your own work and your own friends. And treat any request for a processing charge, a gift card or your banking login as the end of the conversation; generous men in this town pick up the check, they don’t send invoices. In an industry town discretion runs both ways, too. A successful older man who keeps his private life private will respect a younger one who does the same.
Discreet dating in an industry town
Nobody in LA cares that you’re gay. What some people care about is a client, a casting director or a studio exec spotting them on a dating profile between meetings. DaddiesBoySquare lives in your web browser rather than an app store, so nothing sits on your phone for a curious assistant to notice. Each picture you upload is either on show or tucked into a private album you unlock for one man at a time, and the billing descriptor is deliberately forgettable.
Profiles built on somebody else’s Instagram photos are common enough in this city. Ours get screened automatically, and any account a member reports is looked at by a person on the team.
Meet men in Los Angeles tonight
Here’s a sample of who’s logged in around LA right now. Joining costs nothing. Tell the site your preferred ages and how far you’re honestly willing to drive on a Tuesday, and you’ll get daddies from the hills, younger guys from the flats and everyone in between, nearest first. If you’d rather warm up gently, Speedflirt puts one profile in front of you at a time; swipe your interest, and a mutual one becomes a match.
Once you want to start writing to people, a subscription switches on messaging along with the rest of the features. Your member area lists the offers clearly.
Gay daddy dating in Los Angeles: your questions
Where do gay daddies hang out in LA?
Silver Lake (the Eagle, Akbar), Mother Lode in West Hollywood and The Bullet in North Hollywood are good places to start. Many older men also spend weekends in Palm Springs.
Is West Hollywood good for older gay men?
It’s welcoming to everyone, but the main strip skews young on weekends. Neighborhood bars and daytime patios tend to suit older men better than the big clubs.
How far should I set my search radius in LA?
Be realistic. Start with the distance you’d actually drive on a weeknight, then widen it on weekends. Meeting halfway is very normal here.
Can I meet a gay sugar daddy in Los Angeles here?
Yes, if that’s what you both want. Yes, if you both want the same thing. Be explicit about it on your profile, pick a public spot for the first meeting, and walk away from anyone who wants money before dinner.
What can I do without paying?
Plenty: register, set up your profile, add photos, browse men all over LA and play Speedflirt. Messaging is part of the subscription.
Somewhere between the beach and the hills there’s a man who’d make the drive for you. Make your profile and see who he is.
